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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Scary Mommy

So I saw this really cool contest over at Scary Mommy and have been trying to think what makes me a scary mom. I could say that it is because I am a terrible housewife since I hate to clean. (My adage is that dust I can't see really doesn't exist and that works fine for me.)  I also hate ironing.  My husband has graciously taken over this chore otherwise we would all be wearing clothes straight out of the dryer. (That is 10 minutes in the dryer to get the wrinkles out and on they go.)  I also don't sew, knit or do any of those handy things.  I could also say that it is because the rule in my house is basically my way or the highway.  I don't fall for whining, temper tantrums or negotiating.  Please, I grew up the oldest of ten.  These two rugrats don't have what it takes to break me.  If one of my sons decides to have a temper tantrum in the middle of the soccer field, I give him about thirty seconds to pull it together and then I walk away.  Bu-Bye, going home without you.  That shuts them up pretty quick.   I could say that it is because after two kids I could care less about what I look like as I'm leaving the house to take them to (school, soccer, swim lessons, football etc.) but the truth is I really didn't care all that much about it before I had the kids, soo that doesn't work either.  I think though that the scariest thing about me is that I'm perfect.  Seriously, all the kids' bad habits are my husband's fault.  Really!  He is the one who owns the Playstation that they are in danger of becoming addicted to and he is also the one with the sweet tooth they seem to have inherited.  Unfortunately, I married him so I guess it is my fault after all.  Scary!  Well if you think I am the least bit scary, make sure you post a comment so I can win a cool Flip camera which I now can't live without.


emotional diva said...

omg hilarious!

i USE to tell my girls when we were leaving the mall that "i don't care, i'm leaving and going to the car. you getting lost?? that's what mall security is for. they'll figure out how to reach me." that would shut em up and get them to each side of me before i knew it.

now, anytime they move more than a foot away from me and they don't continue to follow, i just keep going. i tell them when we first enter any store..."they have cameras. they have security. i'm not waiting for you." and i keep going. they have yet to wander off. *knockitty knock on wood*

HeatherOz said...

that is hilariously scary!
good luck!!

Pam said...

I like the part where the kids bad habits are your husbands fault. I agree. It's the same at my house. : )
Good luvk!

Scary Mommy said...

Hilarious~~~ and you're the oldest of ten?! You've been training for this title for decades!

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