Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What the hell, shoppers?!?

So I don't know if I've mentioned this but I've started working nights in a department store. I'm working by commission in the Fine Jewelry department. This is good and bad. It's good because I get to play with all the pretty sparkly things but I'm relying on people to buy those things for my paycheck every week. So you can imagine I meet quite a few characters in my line of work.

This one evening I was helping a guy pick out some things for his significant other. So he's looking and agonizing over this piece versus that piece etc. Anyway at one point he tells me his hesitation is because he isn't sure she deserves it. (HaHa, very funny...not.) In the end he bought a very nice black and white diamond set. (ring, earrings and pendant) My guess is that she should've got the bracelet too for putting up with him. Anyway, on a completely separate occasion I have a guy picking out a diamond pendant when at one point he tells me he isn't sure she's worthy. (Excuse me? WTH? Did they get together to come up with this bad joke? Men, do not use this joke. Not only isn't it funny, it doesn't even have the saving grace of being original anymore.) So yesterday I have a couple in the jewelry department picking out pieces. She tells him she wants this piece and that piece and confides that they are about to celebrate their 20th anniversary. So of course I say, Congratulations! His response? No, no, no, I've been putting up with her for this long you should feel sorry for me. So she rolls her eyes at him. Honestly, what the hell is with these men? Like their lives were soooo wonderful before. Good grief the majority of wives spend their days cooking and cleaning up after the lazy bastards and they think they're getting the raw end of the deal. I'd like to see them work and clean while 7 months pregnant. The human race would die out. Okay, that's the end of my rant on useless men. I'm sure all my male readers are enlightened, help around the house and are happy to buy their wives diamonds on their anniversary.

So back to weirdos shopping for jewelry. So this fat, sloppy, nearly toothless guy comes to the department. (I'm sorry if you saw him you wouldn't be able to come up with polite euphemisms either.) Anyway, he picks out a couple of pairs of silver earrings and confides that they're for his girlfriend because he doesn't want to lose her. (My immediate thought was then he needs to spend a few hundred dollars more than he has.) ANYway, he continues with his life story of how his wife died last year and this 'wonderful' woman came into his life but she has gout and other health problems and that's why he's afraid he'll lose her too...and she had dental surgery earlier in the week cause her teeth weren't as good as his...(WTH??? I really didn't need the image of TWO fat toothless individuals in my head.) and now she's in the hospital for complications from some other thing etc. etc. etc. OMG. It's always nice to hear a little background when people are buying things but really!! Anyday now I'm gonna start charging extra for advice.
Here's some for free... Join Stacy at Blue Monkey Butt to publish your WTH experiences.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Things Kids Say Thursday #6

4 year old: Sorry Mom, no time to talk now.

Me: You sure are silly.

7 year old: I can be silly if I want. You are not the boss of silly.

4 year old: I need the umbrella.

Me: It's not raining.

4 year old: Then why do I feel water?

Me: Probably the trees are still wet from earlier.

4 year old: This water sure is wet. I need the umbrella.

7 year old: Mario is Italian.

My brother: How do you know that? Does he talk with his hands?

7 year old: awkward...

My aunt: So do you have any girlfriends?

4 year old: No, but I'm gonna marry Angelina.

My aunt: Why isn't she your girlfriend if you're gonna marry her?

4 year old: I'm waiting for her to grow up so I can marry her.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts

So the other day I go outside and it's just starting to rain so I say aloud Oh man! It's raining! (I have a gift for stating the obvious.) Anyway a wiseguy passing says no it's not. It's just your imagination. So I snap back with Oh so my imagination is making me wet? (No I didn't. I totally thought it and thank goodness I didn't because upon reflection that doesn't at all sound good does it??)

I was rolling coins to take to the bank and I made the following discovery. Money is filthy. I mean it's really really dirty. What are you people doing with your money to make it so dirty anyway??

So I was helping the seven year old with his social studies since he is having three tests this week. Is it just me or is it a bit excessive to have three tests in three days on basically the same material... in second grade???? By the way, attempting to teach a second grader to spell Australia and Antarctica correctly is an exercise in frustration. Just saying.

I have a collection agency calling me about a debt from 1994. (actually not me, my husband but same difference) Anyway, you would think after 16 years they would get the hint that they're not gonna get their money, but no they still keep calling every. single. day. Annoying.

So that's what's going on with me. Check out the random happenings of the Unmom and others here.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Blogger Fail

So I have been noticing some bloggers talking about the 30 Day Blogger challenge. Basically it is to write a post every day for 30 days on the following topics:

Day 1: favorite song

Day 2: favorite movie

Day 3: favorite television show

Day 4: favorite book

Day 5: favorite quote

Day 6: 20 of my favorite things

Day 7:a photo that makes you happy

Day 8: a photo that makes you angry or sad

Day 9: a photo you took

Day 10:a photo taken over 10 years ago

Day 11:a recent photo

Day 12:something you are OCD about

Day 13:a fictional book

Day 14 a non-fictional book

Day 15: your dream house

Day 16; a song that makes you cry

Day 17: an art piece

Day 18:my wedding

Day 19:a talent of mine

Day 20: a hobby of mine

Day 21:a recipe

Day 22: a website

Day 23: a you tube video

Day 24:where I live

Day 25:my day in great detail

Day 26: my week in great detail

Day 27:my worst habit

Day 28:what's in my purse

Day 29: plans for the next year

Day 30:a dream for the future beyond next year

Since I've been having trouble blogging every day and getting into the swing of the regular posting, I thought this would help. Fail! Not only haven't I started but this is the first you're hearing about it when I've been pondering it over a week. Double Fail! Definitely going to start tomorrow though...or maybe next week...