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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What the hell, shoppers?!?

So I don't know if I've mentioned this but I've started working nights in a department store. I'm working by commission in the Fine Jewelry department. This is good and bad. It's good because I get to play with all the pretty sparkly things but I'm relying on people to buy those things for my paycheck every week. So you can imagine I meet quite a few characters in my line of work.




This one evening I was helping a guy pick out some things for his significant other. So he's looking and agonizing over this piece versus that piece etc. Anyway at one point he tells me his hesitation is because he isn't sure she deserves it. (HaHa, very funny...not.) In the end he bought a very nice black and white diamond set. (ring, earrings and pendant) My guess is that she should've got the bracelet too for putting up with him. Anyway, on a completely separate occasion I have a guy picking out a diamond pendant when at one point he tells me he isn't sure she's worthy. (Excuse me? WTH? Did they get together to come up with this bad joke? Men, do not use this joke. Not only isn't it funny, it doesn't even have the saving grace of being original anymore.) So yesterday I have a couple in the jewelry department picking out pieces. She tells him she wants this piece and that piece and confides that they are about to celebrate their 20th anniversary. So of course I say, Congratulations! His response? No, no, no, I've been putting up with her for this long you should feel sorry for me. So she rolls her eyes at him. Honestly, what the hell is with these men? Like their lives were soooo wonderful before. Good grief the majority of wives spend their days cooking and cleaning up after the lazy bastards and they think they're getting the raw end of the deal. I'd like to see them work and clean while 7 months pregnant. The human race would die out. Okay, that's the end of my rant on useless men. I'm sure all my male readers are enlightened, help around the house and are happy to buy their wives diamonds on their anniversary.




So back to weirdos shopping for jewelry. So this fat, sloppy, nearly toothless guy comes to the department. (I'm sorry if you saw him you wouldn't be able to come up with polite euphemisms either.) Anyway, he picks out a couple of pairs of silver earrings and confides that they're for his girlfriend because he doesn't want to lose her. (My immediate thought was then he needs to spend a few hundred dollars more than he has.) ANYway, he continues with his life story of how his wife died last year and this 'wonderful' woman came into his life but she has gout and other health problems and that's why he's afraid he'll lose her too...and she had dental surgery earlier in the week cause her teeth weren't as good as his...(WTH??? I really didn't need the image of TWO fat toothless individuals in my head.) and now she's in the hospital for complications from some other thing etc. etc. etc. OMG. It's always nice to hear a little background when people are buying things but really!! Anyday now I'm gonna start charging extra for advice.
Here's some for free... Join Stacy at Blue Monkey Butt to publish your WTH experiences.

7 comments:

The Only Girl said...

You could do a regular blog post about the weirdest customer/story you heard that week! Sounds like you have lots of good material.

MiMi said...

Omagosh. Seriously, it's not funny, right? But I'm laughing at the toothless dude...something about the way you told that story is hilarious!

lucythevaliant said...

You are cracking me up, here! And how, oh HOW did you refrain from rolling your eyes or twitching or SLAPPING all those useless men?? I'm pretty sure I would have had some kind of spasm from trying to keep it all in, commission or no!

Stacy said...

Yeah wth is with all men?? They always act like they're doing us a favor by being with us, and putting up with us. Again, your point of what we put up with!! I wouldn't be able to listen to customers tell me stories like that, I have tourettes of the eyes (which means I constantly roll my eyes when people talk to me). I laughed out loud over the line, "she doesn't have teeth as good as mine". Maybe he had less teeth in better condition?

Thanks for joining us today!!

blueviolet said...

What the heck? Is there any man out there who just simply WANTS to buy his lady love a piece of jewelry? Sheesh!

shortmama said...

I would slap those guys if they said that about their women not deserving the jewelry...we deserve a whole lot more than that!

Sandra said...

You're in retail: You deserve a big paycheque and a medal for bravery!