This is my first time writing these letters so a brief explanation. Basically I'll be writing letters to anyone or anything I like. If you like this and want to read more in this vein check out 3 Bedroom Bungalow.
Dear Trees Outside My Window,
Normally I like the way you look and I know you provide homes for the many birds in the Spring. However, do you really have to rain pinecones and sap all over my car? The sap is sticky and nearly impossible to get off. (Not that I clean the car, mind you, but the hubby complains.) Please refrain from dripping in the future or keep your drips to the side away from my car.
The Mommy Chauffer
Dear Mother Nature,
I know that rain is necessary. I use quite a lot of it. However was it necessary to rain for 15 minutes during my son's soccer practice this morning? You could have waited until 12:30 when I and my children were safe and dry at home. My son's team (having lost two games in a row) needed the practice and so were forced to practice in the rain. If he catches a cold as a result of this practice you will be receiving copies of my medical bills.
Yours in Disgust,
Complaining Soccer Mom
I have clearly told you many times that I do not need you to send me e-mails everytime someone comments or changes their status. I am aware of it already. All I have to do is sign on and I see all I need to see. You are wasting my precious time deleting your needless messages and filling up my inbox. I know there may be people with no friends who like receiving mail from a souless social networking site but I have friends and don't want your e-mails. Please take this as my final warning.
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.
An Annoyed Networker