Lessons on Being Entertaining on Facebook

Some people get on facebook to play games, some join fanpages, others update their statuses hourly with scintilating information like "just finished eating" and "fell and scraped my knee :(" Although some of the fan pages amuse me like "Hi, Can I help you? No I just waited 15 minutes in line to say hi." Mostly my interaction with my family is what cracks me up. So I thought I'd share my wall with you for your amusement and entertainment. (Also because then I don't have to think up something new to write.) I wrote this on my sister Daniela's wall because some of my other sister's were writing her letters. (Commentary will be in blue.) They were mostly requesting to be tagged in her status since she was tagging her friends and her friends were tagging her back.
Dear Daniela,
Clearly I can not be silent when everyone else is writing you letters. I am way behind on my stalking since I am just now discovering the joy which is your page. Did I forget to mention that checking out other family member's wall can also be entertaining. Cause it is. I blame my husband who is still on the computer. Facebook addict. I had to type this letter out at 3 words a minute on the Blackberry. I am not asking for a status message but rather my own wall of letters for my amusement.
Thank you, Cassie.
PS This is an open letter to all family members. Now check out how much my family loves me/caters to my every whim. In less than fifteen minutes, I had my first letter.

Dear Cassie,
The other day I went to the used bookstore in Hoboken. The sign said books were $5 each, but I told the woman I didn't have enough cash on me. So I got two books for $7. No one quite appreciated how happy this made me. I thought you might understand. Do I understand?!? I think we need to be testing this envelope by going there with "not enough cash" regularly. Because the only thing better than two books for $7 would be three books for $9.
Love,
Carla
PS You got a lotta nerve demanding letters for your amusement when your blog has not been updated. I know because I've checked every hour since I've come home from work. Love you! Someone misses me when I don't blog! Yay! Notice the fresh new blog entry. Your welcome.

Dear Cassie, Sadly I had to wait until the next morning for this one. I guess I wasn't the only one falling behind on the page stalking.
Do you know how much pressure it puts on a person to demand a funny letter on their wall? So congratulations. Here is an unfunny letter. Now everyone loses. Hope you are happy.
apathetically,
Alicia Okay, I don't see how a letter that ends apathetically could possibly be anything but funny but you be the judge.

Dearest Older Sister, Was that an age crack?
I too blame your husband for your lack of recent blogs, and your siblings resulting boredom. Good cause it is totally his fault and really that isn't the only thing we could blame him for. However, it is great timing since I have just began my vacation and will therefore be spending lots of time at your house, making memorable moments that will still be on your mind by the time you get your computer back. Notice the memorable moment we created in cyberspace. Yeah we are that good.
Love,
Yolanda
PS If your husband is going to be taking all the time on the computer, he should at least consider writing a blog for our amusement. I mean someone should be entertaining us. I am much funnier online. He is funnier in person while drinking alcoholic beverages. Just saying. And I'm still trying to figure out a way to erase his memory of Facebook.

Dear Most Amazing Sister in the World, She's right. I so am.
good news. I saw a dog today. Have you ever seen a dog? I bet you have. Why is your coat big? are they your friends? do they have big coats too? I painted a picture of a butterfly. No, she isn't six years old, she is just channeling her inner child, who may be only four, I'm not sure.
Love your favorite sister and children's babysitter, Now that's why I love you.
Pamela
PS although your blogs are few and far between, they're not that bad! it makes them more amazing when we get them Awww. also I'm not upset because you gave me backup blogs to read while I wait for yours. You are welcome, blogroll.

Dear Cassie,

˙ɹǝʇɹɐɯs ɥɔnɯ ʇɐɥʇ noʎ sǝʞɐɯ ʇsnɾ ʇɐɥʇ uǝɥʇ 'sʎɐs sıɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʇno ǝɹnƃıɟ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı oS ˙ɹǝʇʇǝl ʎɯ ɹoɟ ǝƃuǝllɐɥɔ ɐ ɟo ʇıq ɐ ʎoɾuǝ ʇɥƃıɯ noʎ ʇɥƃnoɥʇ I Not only can I read it, I can do it too.
Anyway my dear, I miss you dearly and can not wait until we can spend more days together with your boys at the park. I realize it is not as unemotional and cynical as the letters Alicia may write, but I have a heart dammit and I'm not afraid to use it. Don't worry, upside down writing is almost as interesting as apathy and cynicism.
Cordially yours,
Paloma

Dear Cassie, Don't worry this is the last one. Luckily my brother was out of town somewhere where they haven't invented the internet yet. Really, that's his only excuse.
I wish I could write upside down like Paloma see, I told you it was interesting. but alas I cannot. However, I firmly believe my hackin awesomeness can make up for the fact that I cannot write you an upside down letter. I would like to put in a request to be put into your blog. Please note: you are in the blog. I am clearly cooler than Paloma therefore you should write all about me. Writing about me would totally bring you more followers. Really? Trust me. Just do it. You'll see. Why does she sound like a drug dealer or pedophile? Anyways, I will be getting my permit soon which is very exciting. For you maybe, not so much for the other drivers on the road. When I get my license, I'm gonna hang out with you and your children all the time. Not unless they are giving out cars with those licenses these days. We should check with Obama and call it cars for permits. I'd totally take the test again. you won't be able to get rid of me. Well actually you probably will be but that's beside the point. It's just gonna be me and Paloma partying it up with you and your sons and your daughter! okay enough for now.
Love your pretty hackin awesome little sister,
Daniela

Now if you think this is a long post, count your blessings I didn't put the comments following these posts. That last one had 39 comments. This is why friends and coworkers avoid our statuses like the plague.