Dear Old Man,
The other day you came out of the house to tell me I should take my kids to the park instead of letting them "bother" people. Excuuuuse me?!? So now riding their scooters in their own neighborhood at 4 in the afternoon is "bothering" people? Let me tell you what bothers me...old men who can't mind their own business and have no job to go to at 4 in the afternoon and so feel the need to yell at me about it. It's not my fault someone decided to lay your butt off so they wouldn't have to deal with you. Go bother the people at unemployment and leave me and my kids alone.
Neighbor Who Would Be Happier Without You
Dear American Idol contestants,
This is the lamest season ever! The only thing worse than not picking any songs I like (or know) is picking ones I like and then butchering them by singing off key. Do better next week with the R&B or I'll really have to find something better to do with my time. And no one wants that.
Not Even Looking Up From My Book Anymore
Dear Jodi Picoult,
I know you pride yourself on your surprise endings but do they have to be cryptic as well? If you are really set on the ending, making the rest of the book a lot more boring would also work for me. That way, I'd be able to put it down before I get disappointed by the ending. At any rate, my mother thinks that you are sure to run out of diseases any day now so maybe this whole letter will be pointless.
A Fan (Kind of)
Linking up with ShortMama for more letter fun.