So I am innocently going to Dunkin Donuts the other day when I notice this sign in the parking lot.
WARNING
NEW JERSEY STATE STATUE MAKES IDLING OF VEHICLES FOR MORE THAN THREE (3) MINUTES A VIOLATION OF THE N.J. CLEAN AIR ACT
Really?! Are they serious? I certainly hope there isn't a line in Dunkin Donuts because if you send your significant other in for a coffee and a donut, you can't wait in the car more than three minutes before you are breaking the law. They want you to turn the car off and sit there with no air, no heat, no music. I guess when I go to pick up my son I can't arrive four minutes early because I might be breaking the law. So those other fifty cars of parents (some of which show up twenty minutes early) are, that's right, breaking the law. Funny, I haven't seen any officers walking around giving tickets for this. Probably because it is the least enforceable statute ever written since the no driving and texting law. Or perhaps it's because all those speed traps the police love to set up? Yeah, they involve breaking that same law.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Lessons on Being Entertaining on Facebook
Some people get on facebook to play games, some join fanpages, others update their statuses hourly with scintilating information like "just finished eating" and "fell and scraped my knee :(" Although some of the fan pages amuse me like "Hi, Can I help you? No I just waited 15 minutes in line to say hi." Mostly my interaction with my family is what cracks me up. So I thought I'd share my wall with you for your amusement and entertainment. (Also because then I don't have to think up something new to write.) I wrote this on my sister Daniela's wall because some of my other sister's were writing her letters. (Commentary will be in blue.) They were mostly requesting to be tagged in her status since she was tagging her friends and her friends were tagging her back.
Dear Daniela,
Clearly I can not be silent when everyone else is writing you letters. I am way behind on my stalking since I am just now discovering the joy which is your page. Did I forget to mention that checking out other family member's wall can also be entertaining. Cause it is. I blame my husband who is still on the computer. Facebook addict. I had to type this letter out at 3 words a minute on the Blackberry. I am not asking for a status message but rather my own wall of letters for my amusement.
Thank you, Cassie.
PS This is an open letter to all family members. Now check out how much my family loves me/caters to my every whim. In less than fifteen minutes, I had my first letter.
Dear Cassie,
The other day I went to the used bookstore in Hoboken. The sign said books were $5 each, but I told the woman I didn't have enough cash on me. So I got two books for $7. No one quite appreciated how happy this made me. I thought you might understand. Do I understand?!? I think we need to be testing this envelope by going there with "not enough cash" regularly. Because the only thing better than two books for $7 would be three books for $9.
Love,
Carla
PS You got a lotta nerve demanding letters for your amusement when your blog has not been updated. I know because I've checked every hour since I've come home from work. Love you! Someone misses me when I don't blog! Yay! Notice the fresh new blog entry. Your welcome.
Dear Cassie, Sadly I had to wait until the next morning for this one. I guess I wasn't the only one falling behind on the page stalking.
Do you know how much pressure it puts on a person to demand a funny letter on their wall? So congratulations. Here is an unfunny letter. Now everyone loses. Hope you are happy.
apathetically,
Alicia Okay, I don't see how a letter that ends apathetically could possibly be anything but funny but you be the judge.
Dearest Older Sister, Was that an age crack?
I too blame your husband for your lack of recent blogs, and your siblings resulting boredom. Good cause it is totally his fault and really that isn't the only thing we could blame him for. However, it is great timing since I have just began my vacation and will therefore be spending lots of time at your house, making memorable moments that will still be on your mind by the time you get your computer back.Notice the memorable moment we created in cyberspace. Yeah we are that good.
Love,
Yolanda
PS If your husband is going to be taking all the time on the computer, he should at least consider writing a blog for our amusement. I mean someone should be entertaining us. I am much funnier online. He is funnier in person while drinking alcoholic beverages. Just saying. And I'm still trying to figure out a way to erase his memory of Facebook.
Dear Most Amazing Sister in the World, She's right. I so am.
good news. I saw a dog today. Have you ever seen a dog? I bet you have. Why is your coat big? are they your friends? do they have big coats too? I painted a picture of a butterfly. No, she isn't six years old, she is just channeling her inner child, who may be only four, I'm not sure.
Love your favorite sister and children's babysitter, Now that's why I love you.
Pamela
PS although your blogs are few and far between, they're not that bad! it makes them more amazing when we get them Awww. also I'm not upset because you gave me backup blogs to read while I wait for yours. You are welcome, blogroll.
Dear Cassie,
˙ɹǝʇɹɐɯs ɥɔnɯ ʇɐɥʇ noʎ sǝʞɐɯ ʇsnɾ ʇɐɥʇ uǝɥʇ 'sʎɐs sıɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʇno ǝɹnƃıɟ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı oS ˙ɹǝʇʇǝl ʎɯ ɹoɟ ǝƃuǝllɐɥɔ ɐ ɟo ʇıq ɐ ʎoɾuǝ ʇɥƃıɯ noʎ ʇɥƃnoɥʇ I Not only can I read it, I can do it too.
Anyway my dear, I miss you dearly and can not wait until we can spend more days together with your boys at the park. I realize it is not as unemotional and cynical as the letters Alicia may write, but I have a heart dammit and I'm not afraid to use it. Don't worry, upside down writing is almost as interesting as apathy and cynicism.
Cordially yours,
Paloma
Dear Cassie, Don't worry this is the last one. Luckily my brother was out of town somewhere where they haven't invented the internet yet. Really, that's his only excuse.
I wish I could write upside down like Paloma see, I told you it was interesting. but alas I cannot. However, I firmly believe my hackin awesomeness can make up for the fact that I cannot write you an upside down letter. I would like to put in a request to be put into your blog. Please note: you are in the blog. I am clearly cooler than Paloma therefore you should write all about me. Writing about me would totally bring you more followers. Really? Trust me. Just do it. You'll see. Why does she sound like a drug dealer or pedophile? Anyways, I will be getting my permit soon which is very exciting. For you maybe, not so much for the other drivers on the road. When I get my license, I'm gonna hang out with you and your children all the time. Not unless they are giving out cars with those licenses these days. We should check with Obama and call it cars for permits. I'd totally take the test again. you won't be able to get rid of me. Well actually you probably will be but that's beside the point. It's just gonna be me and Paloma partying it up with you and your sons and your daughter! okay enough for now.
Love your pretty hackin awesome little sister,
Daniela
Now if you think this is a long post, count your blessings I didn't put the comments following these posts. That last one had 39 comments. This is why friends and coworkers avoid our statuses like the plague.
Dear Daniela,
Clearly I can not be silent when everyone else is writing you letters. I am way behind on my stalking since I am just now discovering the joy which is your page. Did I forget to mention that checking out other family member's wall can also be entertaining. Cause it is. I blame my husband who is still on the computer. Facebook addict. I had to type this letter out at 3 words a minute on the Blackberry. I am not asking for a status message but rather my own wall of letters for my amusement.
Thank you, Cassie.
PS This is an open letter to all family members. Now check out how much my family loves me/caters to my every whim. In less than fifteen minutes, I had my first letter.
Dear Cassie,
The other day I went to the used bookstore in Hoboken. The sign said books were $5 each, but I told the woman I didn't have enough cash on me. So I got two books for $7. No one quite appreciated how happy this made me. I thought you might understand. Do I understand?!? I think we need to be testing this envelope by going there with "not enough cash" regularly. Because the only thing better than two books for $7 would be three books for $9.
Love,
Carla
PS You got a lotta nerve demanding letters for your amusement when your blog has not been updated. I know because I've checked every hour since I've come home from work. Love you! Someone misses me when I don't blog! Yay! Notice the fresh new blog entry. Your welcome.
Dear Cassie, Sadly I had to wait until the next morning for this one. I guess I wasn't the only one falling behind on the page stalking.
Do you know how much pressure it puts on a person to demand a funny letter on their wall? So congratulations. Here is an unfunny letter. Now everyone loses. Hope you are happy.
apathetically,
Alicia Okay, I don't see how a letter that ends apathetically could possibly be anything but funny but you be the judge.
Dearest Older Sister, Was that an age crack?
I too blame your husband for your lack of recent blogs, and your siblings resulting boredom. Good cause it is totally his fault and really that isn't the only thing we could blame him for. However, it is great timing since I have just began my vacation and will therefore be spending lots of time at your house, making memorable moments that will still be on your mind by the time you get your computer back.
Love,
Yolanda
PS If your husband is going to be taking all the time on the computer, he should at least consider writing a blog for our amusement. I mean someone should be entertaining us. I am much funnier online. He is funnier in person while drinking alcoholic beverages. Just saying. And I'm still trying to figure out a way to erase his memory of Facebook.
Dear Most Amazing Sister in the World, She's right. I so am.
good news. I saw a dog today. Have you ever seen a dog? I bet you have. Why is your coat big? are they your friends? do they have big coats too? I painted a picture of a butterfly. No, she isn't six years old, she is just channeling her inner child, who may be only four, I'm not sure.
Love your favorite sister and children's babysitter, Now that's why I love you.
Pamela
PS although your blogs are few and far between, they're not that bad! it makes them more amazing when we get them Awww. also I'm not upset because you gave me backup blogs to read while I wait for yours. You are welcome, blogroll.
Dear Cassie,
˙ɹǝʇɹɐɯs ɥɔnɯ ʇɐɥʇ noʎ sǝʞɐɯ ʇsnɾ ʇɐɥʇ uǝɥʇ 'sʎɐs sıɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʇno ǝɹnƃıɟ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı oS ˙ɹǝʇʇǝl ʎɯ ɹoɟ ǝƃuǝllɐɥɔ ɐ ɟo ʇıq ɐ ʎoɾuǝ ʇɥƃıɯ noʎ ʇɥƃnoɥʇ I Not only can I read it, I can do it too.
Anyway my dear, I miss you dearly and can not wait until we can spend more days together with your boys at the park. I realize it is not as unemotional and cynical as the letters Alicia may write, but I have a heart dammit and I'm not afraid to use it. Don't worry, upside down writing is almost as interesting as apathy and cynicism.
Cordially yours,
Paloma
Dear Cassie, Don't worry this is the last one. Luckily my brother was out of town somewhere where they haven't invented the internet yet. Really, that's his only excuse.
I wish I could write upside down like Paloma see, I told you it was interesting. but alas I cannot. However, I firmly believe my hackin awesomeness can make up for the fact that I cannot write you an upside down letter. I would like to put in a request to be put into your blog. Please note: you are in the blog. I am clearly cooler than Paloma therefore you should write all about me. Writing about me would totally bring you more followers. Really? Trust me. Just do it. You'll see. Why does she sound like a drug dealer or pedophile? Anyways, I will be getting my permit soon which is very exciting. For you maybe, not so much for the other drivers on the road. When I get my license, I'm gonna hang out with you and your children all the time. Not unless they are giving out cars with those licenses these days. We should check with Obama and call it cars for permits. I'd totally take the test again. you won't be able to get rid of me. Well actually you probably will be but that's beside the point. It's just gonna be me and Paloma partying it up with you and your sons and your daughter! okay enough for now.
Love your pretty hackin awesome little sister,
Daniela
Now if you think this is a long post, count your blessings I didn't put the comments following these posts. That last one had 39 comments. This is why friends and coworkers avoid our statuses like the plague.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Dear Someone
Dear Old Man,
The other day you came out of the house to tell me I should take my kids to the park instead of letting them "bother" people. Excuuuuse me?!? So now riding their scooters in their own neighborhood at 4 in the afternoon is "bothering" people? Let me tell you what bothers me...old men who can't mind their own business and have no job to go to at 4 in the afternoon and so feel the need to yell at me about it. It's not my fault someone decided to lay your butt off so they wouldn't have to deal with you. Go bother the people at unemployment and leave me and my kids alone.
Sincerely,
Neighbor Who Would Be Happier Without You
Dear American Idol contestants,
This is the lamest season ever! The only thing worse than not picking any songs I like (or know) is picking ones I like and then butchering them by singing off key. Do better next week with the R&B or I'll really have to find something better to do with my time. And no one wants that.
Thanks,
Not Even Looking Up From My Book Anymore
Dear Jodi Picoult,
I know you pride yourself on your surprise endings but do they have to be cryptic as well? If you are really set on the ending, making the rest of the book a lot more boring would also work for me. That way, I'd be able to put it down before I get disappointed by the ending. At any rate, my mother thinks that you are sure to run out of diseases any day now so maybe this whole letter will be pointless.
Yours Truly
A Fan (Kind of)
Linking up with ShortMama for more letter fun.
The other day you came out of the house to tell me I should take my kids to the park instead of letting them "bother" people. Excuuuuse me?!? So now riding their scooters in their own neighborhood at 4 in the afternoon is "bothering" people? Let me tell you what bothers me...old men who can't mind their own business and have no job to go to at 4 in the afternoon and so feel the need to yell at me about it. It's not my fault someone decided to lay your butt off so they wouldn't have to deal with you. Go bother the people at unemployment and leave me and my kids alone.
Sincerely,
Neighbor Who Would Be Happier Without You
Dear American Idol contestants,
This is the lamest season ever! The only thing worse than not picking any songs I like (or know) is picking ones I like and then butchering them by singing off key. Do better next week with the R&B or I'll really have to find something better to do with my time. And no one wants that.
Thanks,
Not Even Looking Up From My Book Anymore
Dear Jodi Picoult,
I know you pride yourself on your surprise endings but do they have to be cryptic as well? If you are really set on the ending, making the rest of the book a lot more boring would also work for me. That way, I'd be able to put it down before I get disappointed by the ending. At any rate, my mother thinks that you are sure to run out of diseases any day now so maybe this whole letter will be pointless.
Yours Truly
A Fan (Kind of)
Linking up with ShortMama for more letter fun.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Facebook Fantasies and Other Nonsense
So the other day when I was giddily enjoying the spring weather, I was also spending a lot of time in my car with the windows down and the radio on. I guess my family was enjoying it as well because it all started when Yolanda posted this to my page. "Flashback who's that, dancing to the latest." Now if you aren't in our inner circle, you might not know immediately that that is a song quote which is supposed to be followed by the next line of the song. Luckily Paloma jumped in with "I'm talking Square Biz to you Baby!" Twenty comments later, after we had a good laugh at one of my other sisters who thought this song said Real Love instead of Square Biz, we were busy posting these other quotes. "Why waste your time, you know you're gonna be mine..." "I came to get down, I came to get down..." and "I'm kind of buzzed and it's all because...". If you know the songs put it in the comments (and this does not refer to family members who already know the answers) You are obligated to join in since as my brother said, friends don't let friends sing alone. Anyway, this giddy facebook exchange led to an impromtu dinner party at my house. After which Paloma wrote "I love that this family can turn a facebook fantasy into reality. So in the spirit of giddy Wednesdays being better than rainy Mondays, I'm posting these songs....
Because this is what Real Love sounds like in a song.....
Cause since I love you, I'd take a bullet for you, not in the head but like in the leg or something...
Because to my family the nineties is apparently old school....
Because this is what Real Love sounds like in a song.....
Cause since I love you, I'd take a bullet for you, not in the head but like in the leg or something...
Because to my family the nineties is apparently old school....
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Things Kids Say Thursday #6
I'm on the computer and the six year old comes up to me.
Six year old: Can I have a snack?
Me: Yeah, hold on a minute. I want to finish this before I lose my train of thought.
Six year old: Mom, the computer isn't going to run away.
Me: How do you know? I could've sworn I saw it's little feet moving.
Me: You can't just eat french fires, you have to eat meat too.
Four year old: That's my story, Four year old eats french fries.
Six year old: Can I have a snack?
Me: Yeah, hold on a minute. I want to finish this before I lose my train of thought.
Six year old: Mom, the computer isn't going to run away.
Me: How do you know? I could've sworn I saw it's little feet moving.
Me: You can't just eat french fires, you have to eat meat too.
Four year old: That's my story, Four year old eats french fries.
Me: War games are not appropriate for six year olds.
Six year old: Does that include tug of war?
Four year old: (sees my pregnancy widget) HaHa, that baby looks funny!
Me: You like it?
Four year old: No! It has a tail!
Four year old: When I laugh, it makes me happy!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
What the Hell Wednesday...Or Not.
Well if you are here to read my weekly, complaining, rant courtesy of the Blue MonkeyButt Sisters, you're are going to be sadly disappointed. I am having a great day! The sun is shining, the high is going to be 65! I also heard that on Friday it is going to be sunny and 71 which since the boys will be off from school, makes it a perfect day for an outing. Also, yesterday afternoon, I noticed the lilies are growing in my yard. Signs of spring!!!!! Aren't I perky and annoying? I know, what the hell, right?
I am also very enthused about the baby suddenly. I think that nesting thing is upon me. I gave the hubby instructions on what to move and if I can get my sister in law to go with me, I think I'll be registering for some new gear this weekend. So super, super excited to see baby stuff around!! I know, I know, perky and annoying again, right? I'll try to tone it down.
I thought about doing a wishful Wednesday with Kelsey but I didn't think it would make a whole post but here goes anyway.
I wish I could win the lottery real soon and I would hope to ...... (the real question is would I continue working or quit my job.)
Since I don't work outside the home.....no I wouldn't quit. I would however buy a really big, really nice house and then hide as much money as I could from my husband, the spendthrift. BTW, my husband says this isn't a wish, it's his retirement plan. After all the money he's invested in the lotto, they owe him.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)