WTH is with me lately?!?

My kids being red blooded Americans did their patriotic duty and brought home a butt load of candy for Halloween. Now here's where I let you in on the dirty secret. I rarely let them eat candy. Okay on Halloween they had a couple of pieces and maybe two additional pieces since then but that's pretty much it. So what have I been doing with all this junk? I'll tell you. I've been eating it. I, who generally doesn't have a sweet tooth, and would rather have a beef patty than a chocolate bar, have been scarfing down the candy at regular intervals. I would excuse myself if say, I was having a craving for skittles or snickers and then went to find one. No, me?, I've been going in the kitchen and out of a utter laziness to make myself something eat a piece of candy in lieu of what I actually want. Seriously, I need help. So should I just take the entire bag of candy and chuck it or what? Do you ever find yourself eating things you don't really want?

My Bucket List

Okay so my sister sent me an article written by Jen Lancaster. If you haven't read anything by her, you're missing out cause she's amazing. Anyway she's thinking about if she should write a bucket list and reading what's on other people's bucket lists. Apparently, people have these visions of themselves going on African safaris, jumping out of airplanes, climbing tall mountains and other extremely hard, semi-suicidal things.

Personally, I'm with Jen, "not-dying" is pretty high up on my list. I'd like to live to see my grandchildren, which means I need to live at least thirty more years cause my daughter is only four months old. I'd also like to retire. Isn't that boring? I was talking to a co-worker who just got laid off her day job and pretty much she described my perfect day. All day in bed reading, get up to eat, pee and then...go back to bed. Yeah I'd like to live to see a couple of days like that. I'd also wouldn't mind being able to burn that mortgage. Sooo 29 years, eleven months and counting..... I guess I don't need a bucket list since I don't have any lofty goals for myself. Does that make me boring or just lazy???

To Blog or not to blog

Did you know that it's National Blog Posting Month? Well it is. I have it on good authority. Unfortunately I am a certified blog failure, since I can't organize any rhyme or reason to my posts. I have just come off a six day straight work week which especially sucks since although I got a lot of hours in, there were very few customers. Don't ask me why. Don't they know it is 50 days to Christmas? Someone should be shopping. Anyway since my garage is still full of boxes, my four month old still won't sleep through the night, the economy has dictated I must work myself into the ground, this is basically all you're gonna get for a blog post. Tune in for your next episode of the young (no wisecracks) and insanely busy.

What the hell, shoppers?!?

So I don't know if I've mentioned this but I've started working nights in a department store. I'm working by commission in the Fine Jewelry department. This is good and bad. It's good because I get to play with all the pretty sparkly things but I'm relying on people to buy those things for my paycheck every week. So you can imagine I meet quite a few characters in my line of work.

This one evening I was helping a guy pick out some things for his significant other. So he's looking and agonizing over this piece versus that piece etc. Anyway at one point he tells me his hesitation is because he isn't sure she deserves it. (HaHa, very funny...not.) In the end he bought a very nice black and white diamond set. (ring, earrings and pendant) My guess is that she should've got the bracelet too for putting up with him. Anyway, on a completely separate occasion I have a guy picking out a diamond pendant when at one point he tells me he isn't sure she's worthy. (Excuse me? WTH? Did they get together to come up with this bad joke? Men, do not use this joke. Not only isn't it funny, it doesn't even have the saving grace of being original anymore.) So yesterday I have a couple in the jewelry department picking out pieces. She tells him she wants this piece and that piece and confides that they are about to celebrate their 20th anniversary. So of course I say, Congratulations! His response? No, no, no, I've been putting up with her for this long you should feel sorry for me. So she rolls her eyes at him. Honestly, what the hell is with these men? Like their lives were soooo wonderful before. Good grief the majority of wives spend their days cooking and cleaning up after the lazy bastards and they think they're getting the raw end of the deal. I'd like to see them work and clean while 7 months pregnant. The human race would die out. Okay, that's the end of my rant on useless men. I'm sure all my male readers are enlightened, help around the house and are happy to buy their wives diamonds on their anniversary.

So back to weirdos shopping for jewelry. So this fat, sloppy, nearly toothless guy comes to the department. (I'm sorry if you saw him you wouldn't be able to come up with polite euphemisms either.) Anyway, he picks out a couple of pairs of silver earrings and confides that they're for his girlfriend because he doesn't want to lose her. (My immediate thought was then he needs to spend a few hundred dollars more than he has.) ANYway, he continues with his life story of how his wife died last year and this 'wonderful' woman came into his life but she has gout and other health problems and that's why he's afraid he'll lose her too...and she had dental surgery earlier in the week cause her teeth weren't as good as his...(WTH??? I really didn't need the image of TWO fat toothless individuals in my head.) and now she's in the hospital for complications from some other thing etc. etc. etc. OMG. It's always nice to hear a little background when people are buying things but really!! Anyday now I'm gonna start charging extra for advice.

Here's some for free... Join Stacy at Blue Monkey Butt to publish your WTH experiences.

Things Kids Say Thursday #6

4 year old: Sorry Mom, no time to talk now.






Me: You sure are silly.

7 year old: I can be silly if I want. You are not the boss of silly.







4 year old: I need the umbrella.

Me: It's not raining.

4 year old: Then why do I feel water?

Me: Probably the trees are still wet from earlier.

4 year old: This water sure is wet. I need the umbrella.

7 year old: Mario is Italian.

My brother: How do you know that? Does he talk with his hands?

7 year old: awkward...

My aunt: So do you have any girlfriends?

4 year old: No, but I'm gonna marry Angelina.

My aunt: Why isn't she your girlfriend if you're gonna marry her?

4 year old: I'm waiting for her to grow up so I can marry her.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

So the other day I go outside and it's just starting to rain so I say aloud Oh man! It's raining! (I have a gift for stating the obvious.) Anyway a wiseguy passing says no it's not. It's just your imagination. So I snap back with Oh so my imagination is making me wet? (No I didn't. I totally thought it and thank goodness I didn't because upon reflection that doesn't at all sound good does it??)

I was rolling coins to take to the bank and I made the following discovery. Money is filthy. I mean it's really really dirty. What are you people doing with your money to make it so dirty anyway??

So I was helping the seven year old with his social studies since he is having three tests this week. Is it just me or is it a bit excessive to have three tests in three days on basically the same material... in second grade???? By the way, attempting to teach a second grader to spell Australia and Antarctica correctly is an exercise in frustration. Just saying.

I have a collection agency calling me about a debt from 1994. (actually not me, my husband but same difference) Anyway, you would think after 16 years they would get the hint that they're not gonna get their money, but no they still keep calling every. single. day. Annoying.

So that's what's going on with me. Check out the random happenings of the Unmom and others here.

Blogger Fail

So I have been noticing some bloggers talking about the 30 Day Blogger challenge. Basically it is to write a post every day for 30 days on the following topics:

Day 1: favorite song

Day 2: favorite movie

Day 3: favorite television show

Day 4: favorite book

Day 5: favorite quote

Day 6: 20 of my favorite things

Day 7:a photo that makes you happy

Day 8: a photo that makes you angry or sad

Day 9: a photo you took

Day 10:a photo taken over 10 years ago

Day 11:a recent photo

Day 12:something you are OCD about

Day 13:a fictional book

Day 14 a non-fictional book

Day 15: your dream house

Day 16; a song that makes you cry

Day 17: an art piece

Day 18:my wedding

Day 19:a talent of mine

Day 20: a hobby of mine

Day 21:a recipe

Day 22: a website

Day 23: a you tube video

Day 24:where I live

Day 25:my day in great detail

Day 26: my week in great detail

Day 27:my worst habit

Day 28:what's in my purse

Day 29: plans for the next year

Day 30:a dream for the future beyond next year

Since I've been having trouble blogging every day and getting into the swing of the regular posting, I thought this would help. Fail! Not only haven't I started but this is the first you're hearing about it when I've been pondering it over a week. Double Fail! Definitely going to start tomorrow though...or maybe next week...