What the Hell Wednesday

It is time for me to get my complaining on with the Blue Monkey Butt Sisters. Feel free to join in or just laugh at all the rest of us and our problems.

What the Hell is with my boys lately? This past week at bedtime, they have decided that to creep down the hall and peek at me in my room or through the banisters down the stairs is a cool game. First, I was "Get back in bed!" every time they did it. After the first fifty times or so, that got tired. So my new strategy was to ignore them, figuring that they would get bored and go back to bed. Except the six year old decided that since I wasn't responding that he should yell "Mom, the four year old is out of bed!" every. single. time. WTH? Don't ask me why they aren't tired. I am.

My husband informed me the other morning that he might have seen a mouse. WTH? What does he mean might? We have been living here over two years without any rodent infestation, thank you very much. The worst I have seen is some ants and a couple of spiders. I can live with that. I do not live with mice. EVER. Anyway, the hubby explained that he thought he saw something out the corner of his eye which he interpreted to be a mouse. WTH? So he spent the evening sealing everything in bags and covering everything with towels, just in case. It had better only be his old eyes failing on him and not a mouse because if I see one he might be living with a cat when he gets home. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

Random Tuesday Questions

*Why is it that the sun comes out and people think that it is warm enough for shorts? It is only 46 degrees and I saw two people. in shorts. It's not that warm people!

*Why did I not know about the Starburst FaveReds pack before now? An entire pack of nothing but red flavors. No more trying to foist off the oranges on someone else!

*Why did I think I would be able to watch the first season of Dexter if I rented it? I borrowed it and discovered that I do not have 12 free hours with which to watch without the six year old and four year old around. So back it goes and I only saw three episodes. Fail!

*Why isn't Women's History commemorated with a day off? Or better yet, a week? I mean haven't we worked hard enough?

*Why do people ask you questions and then walk away before you answer them? This morning my husband says to me, why were you tossing and turning so much last night? And then leaves the room! Thanks for asking!

Linking up with the Bitchin' Wives Club for more Random Tuesday Thoughts.

My Sisters

So I have seven sisters. Anyhow two of them have been just dying to get in a blog post. Apparently, since MTV turned them down for Jersey Shore (neither of them being cheap or Italian) and Patti doesn't scout in Jersey to match her millionaires, you are their last chance at fifteen minutes of fame.

Pamela is ten years younger than me. (The only reason I know this is I count down the age gaps between family members until I get to her.) Since she is so much younger than me I spent a good part of my childhood taking care of my little sister. Her first word was my name instead of mama or dada. I have combed her hair, fed her, clothed her, bandaged her boo-boos and otherwise took care of her until I entered my selfish phase and went to college. Today, Pamela is one of my kids' favorite baby sitters since she is not above acting like a six year old. A couple of weeks ago she helped me out taking the boys to the Science museum which had a dinosaur exhibit complete with a live reptile show. (Of course we all agreed that the one we had at the six year old's birthday party was better. They did not have an alligator and their boa constrictor was lame compared to our snake.) Anyway, the day ended in the souvenir shop where I refused to part with a dime on their overpriced merchandise. Of course being the indulgent auntie that she is, she went ahead and bought the six year old a glow-in-the-dark solar system which he claims to have wanted all his life. The four year old went away with a stuffed green bear which he gave the incredibly creative name of Beary.

Paloma is something like fourteen years younger than me. (BTW, I think this makes her eleven since there is no way that I am older than twenty five.) I probably remember Paloma's delivery the best since it was one of my mom's only c-sections. Her umbilical cord was apparently wrapped around her neck. Although I also remember the time my mom told my dad she was going into labor and he asked if he could finish watching his tv show first. I think this was for Pamela but I couldn't swear to it. I guess after the first five or so the urgency was gone. Anyway, Paloma is one of my only little sisters who is still littler than me. Apparently all the tall genes skipped me and her. Anyway, like Paloma we didn't have much in common with each other growing up since I was doing the cooking and she was doing the eating. Now, however, she is in college and is also the keeper of Rock Band game. So when we all have a day off, we hang out in her apartment and annoy the other college kids with our good time. (Yes, we are adults who love to sing and play fake instruments. What of it? Pat Benatar would totally recruit us if she heard our rendition of Love is a Battlefield. Well...she would if she were tone deaf and loved us very much.)

So thank you both for being there and entertaining the boys when I no longer have the energy. Also, I am having a baby towards the end of June so I'll need you to get back to me with your schedules because I plan to be exhausted. :)

Tiger, Tiger Woods, y'all

I was over at the Princess of Sarcasm and discovered a heated discussion on Tiger Woods and his total lack of moral fiber. Now always one to have two cents to throw in (or fifty two) I decided to link up.
Now if you didn't watch the press conference, feel free to head here and do so...or not. I mean if you've seen one cheating bastard apologize, pretty much you've seen them all. Pretty much he apologizes for being a selfish, irresponsible prick who used and abused his wealth, fame and position. Personally, I could have cared less. Really does anybody care if he was really sorry or not? In my opinion, once a cheater, always a cheater. Either you are a person who takes his marital vows seriously (i.e. means what he says) or you are a liar and a cheater. Not only that I am sick to death of this "everybody makes mistakes" attitude. If it is okay with you to live with someone knowing that they may or may not be faithful to you than fine. You live with that kind of uncertainty(and possibility of disease) in your life. I believe in fidelity. If it were me, I'd have kicked his lying, cheating ass to the curb from the start. (Now Elin, if you have plans to take all his money and then leave him, I'm okay with that too.)
As for his golfing career, as long as he continues to hit the little ball into the hole (something he apparently knows quite a bit about), there will always be someone willing to sponsor him. (Trojans, Tiger is waiting for your call.) Likewise, I don't expect all those companies which dropped him like a hot potato since the story broke to rush back anytime soon.
I say let Tiger worry about Tiger's future so the rest of us can get back to real life.
Now if you're on Facebook you could join the page "Tiger Woods isn't a tiger, he's a cheetah!" or "I support Tiger Woods and his pimping ways." Think about it.

What the Hell, Again?!?!

Apparently while I wasn't looking, someone picked up my little town in NJ and moved it to Bumblefuck or Hicksville, somewhere in the boonies anyway. I say this because THE DAMN POWER WENT OUT IN MY HOUSE AGAIN!! Now much as I love the Third World, I do not want to live there. I pay an astronomical amount of money to PSE&G because I expect the lights to go on when I want them to. Also, when I am in the middle of preparing dinner is a damn inconvenient time for the power to go out. Now because I am not a fan of burning myself or the food, I was unable to comply with my husband's desire to cook by flashlight. What the Hell, right? I sent his lazy ass for Chinese food. Lucky for PSE&G the power came on BEFORE American Idol otherwise they would be dealing with a seriously pissed pregnant lady.

Now why the hell didn't I become a weather forecaster? I swear they get up there and guess completely while in reality having no friggin clue. Yesterday, the forecast was a mix of snow and rain every damn day this week. Today it has become some rain then clearing in preparation for a monster nor'easter. So yesterday it was going to be too warm for snow and today it is going to be cold enough for a buttload of snow. Riiiiiight. See I think this is really a diabolical plot designed to get me excited about the possibility of a snow day on Friday which will come with rain to crush my dreams on Friday. (I can't help it if I have lame dreams about not having to get dressed and drive kids around all day.)

Well those are my complaints for the week. Check out the Blue Monkey

Butt sisters for more.

Random Tuesday

Today is my oldest sister's birthday. By that I don't mean older than me but just older than all my other younger sisters. Someone mentioned something about going to IHOP for our free pancakes but I guess that isn't going to happen. She just came back from a weekend in Miami which featured an evening of clubbing followed by time at the gun range. Is that awesome or what? She is a fan of the following Facebook pages: I don't care about your fish, or your farm, or your park or or your mafia!!!! and Oh Home Alone? Hello Loud Music.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

That's my advice for her today. That and not to tell anyone your age because then they might get funny ideas about mine.

It is raining cats and dogs out there today. I do not like this because if it was only five degrees colder, it would be snowing and I would have a snow day. (AKA safe, warm and dry in my house.)

Registration has started for Spring Soccer. It is kind of hard for me to get enthused about the upcoming season when it is raining, 37 degrees out and there is still snow on the ground.

Do you think it is strange to buy a bathing suit that I can't wear until after the baby is born? Too bad. I'm getting one anyway.

Catch-up

My husband used to be a great person. He was hard working. Even on the weekends, he was not one to veg out on the couch. He likes to keep busy, washing my car, painting walls, generally doing stuff most of the day. Then he discovered facebook. Since then, all his spare time has been spent in front of the computer thinking of witty comebacks and status remarks. When he can't think of his own, he feels no shame about trolling the internet to steal someone else's. Here was his witty remark for the day. Our Munson who are in heaven, hallowed be his name. Thy World Series #28 be won in the Bronx, in 2010. Give us this day, our daily win and forgive us our hatred of the opposing team. As we forgive those who oppose us and lead us not into Flushing, but deliver us from Boston. The power and glory of the MLB. Boston Sucks!! Amen. Anyway I am sorry for being absent this week. Blame Facebook. I do.

Last week I read a few interesting books. I read Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah. It was a saga spanning more than thirty years in the life of two best friends. It made me cry which was awesome. I read Life Skills by Katie Fforde which was funny and entertaining but contained way too much detail about canals and their locks for my taste. I tended to skip whole paragraphs because it would go into some detail about maneuvering the boat on the canal. Snore fest. I read Smart vs Pretty by Valerie Frankel which was completely forgettable and not nearly as interesting as the back blurb. I read Dexter by Design by Jeffrey Lindsay. This was quite amusing. It intrigued me enough to want to see how it translated into the Showtime series. The most interesting parts for me was how he considers himself a carrier for his Dark Passenger and that Dexter is a complete fabricated persona as a cover for his little hobby. I don't know how they would communicate this on TV. If you haven't read his books or watched the show you probably have no clue what I am talking about. I also read A Wanted Man by Linda Lael Miller which was a historical romance set in the American west. Completely predictable which is why I read them. I can't stand when I go to pick up a nice light romance and it has a twisted ending. Sometimes a girl just needs a happy ending. I would normally put these in my sidebar but since I already finished them, it seems kind of pointless. I have every intention of going on Wednesday to the library and getting a whole new set.

I am still concerned about the six year old. I was informed on Friday that on Monday (next week not today) they will be having Terra Nova testing. I have no idea what this consists of nor do I know how to prepare him for it. The advice sent by his teacher consisted of getting a good night sleep, eating breakfast and bringing number two pencils. I am most concerned about his spelling. On his last dictation assignment in school, he got twenty three wrong. 23. I make him sit down and read aloud. (Right now we are reading The Magic Tree House Series.) He flies through them with very little assistance from me but his spelling remains horrific. His errors are all over the place. He leaves vowels out of words like strem instead of stream. He adds silent e's where they are not needed and leaves them off when they are. He'll leave the w off of write and wrote. He spells cute with a q. It is just a little frustrating to me not to be able to constructively help him.

Well this is becoming a really long post so to be continued....